Today has been hard. And it’s only 1pm.
The Whole30 website says this:
It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.
Okay, I agree, drinking my coffee black is not hard. But drinking my tea without honey and going a whole day without chocolate. Is. Hard.
Today is Day 3. Day 3 of no sugar, no dairy, no grains, no alcohol, no legumes, no additives, no giving in to cravings and addictions. Here is what I’ve had so far:
-hot lemon water with cayenne
-juice (beet scraps, parsley scraps, 1 carrot, handful of kale, lemon juice) – it was an alright juice, it could’ve benefited from an apple, but I knew I was planning to eat some apple later so I didn’t want to overdo it.
-fruit salad (banana, clementine, apple) with coconut milk and crunchy grain-free granola (a mixture of nuts and unsweetened coconut, sweetened with a splash of fresh-squeezed orange juice)
-2 eggs scrambled with 4 olives
-small scoop of chia with remaining fruit salad and a sprinkle of granola
-leftovers from dinner: small piece of fish with salad and roasted beets, carrots, onion, radish
-1/2 an avocado and 1 slice of roast beef
That is so much food, right? I can’t believe how much I’ve eaten. I think it’s partly due from not getting a full night of sleep – that always cranks up my appetite. But it still seems extreme. I don’t know if this is because of a spike in my appetite after not eating a ton of food over the weekend or if it’s due to not bulking out my meals with grains.
Dealing with a nearly-constant appetite has been inconvenient, since I’ve spent a lot of time preparing and eating food today. But what has probably been more difficult is resisting the urge to fulfill my cravings, even with Whole30-approved foods.
One of the major reasons for me for doing a Whole30 is to cut my sugar cravings. Every day after lunch and usually again later in the afternoon, I get the urge for something sweet. This urge is usually taken care of by eating maple syrup sweetened chia, a piece of dark chocolate, or putting honey in my tea.
While these “vices” are a far cry from slurping down a giant soda or smashing my face into a sundae, they are all definite no-no’s on the Whole30.
And today, like clockwork, I started looking around the kitchen, desperately. What could I do? I was tempted to grab another spoonful of chia pudding (it’s unsweetened now, but the coconut milk, vanilla extract and natural flavor of chia still make it indulgent) or a handful of granola. The foods themselves are Whole30-approved, but the motivation – squelching a craving – is not. If I’m going to disconnect emotional and addictive reasons for eating, these are exactly the crutches I have to give up.
Today, I am drinking coffee to get through this afternoon. I’ve found in the past that coffee often cuts my desire for something sweet. Coffee is Whole30-approved, but I’d like to cut it out and have been decreasing my consumption – I hadn’t had any in a week! – but I guess there will be days like today.
My hope is that, by the end of the month, I will be able to get through the afternoon cravings without coffee, or better yet, that I will no longer have these cravings. Today, coffee will have to do.